I Chased Him Until He Came Back

Any romance where the heroine pursues the tsundere hero until he begs to win her back?

I chased General Grant for three whole years. Even my maid ended up with one of his guards, and still he showed me not the slightest sign of interest.

Ethan Grant told me coolly, "Princess, compose yourself."

"I don’t plan to," I said.

I blinked up at him.

But no matter what I did, I couldn’t warm his heart… The lively frontier princess vs. the Empire of Westford’s stoic general—me chasing him into a total humiliation ending!

I’m a princess who can’t play any of the classic arts.

That’s what Ethan Grant’s personal guard, Daniel Grant, told me.

He scratched his head embarrassedly and nervously glanced at my attendant Lily, having once again blocked me outside Ethan’s manor for the fifty-third time.

Daniel, usually so stern and dutiful, had no confidence now. He trembled, trying to hide his hands behind his back.

Sure enough, Lily snatched the food box he was trying to hide.

Daniel looked hurt and forlorn, eyes flicking between Lily and the box as if on the verge of tears.

I watched them and couldn’t help sighing inside.

Three years. I’d been chasing Ethan for three years. My constant stakeouts had even brought Daniel and Lily together, but Ethan still didn’t like me.

In truth, he barely acknowledged me.

So I had to ask Daniel.

Daniel was a Centrallander, the one who knew Ethan best among the Centrallanders, and hopelessly smitten with Lily. Maybe he’d know what was wrong.

And that was how I got the answer above.

Even though I didn’t know how to play the guqin or the chessboard or paint or write, I could dance the hardest dances, sing the sweetest songs, play the most moving pipe, and tame the fiercest horses.

I figured: trade one skill for another—music and arts for song, dance, and horsemanship. That should work, right?

But Daniel, red-faced and stammering, finally managed to blurt out, "Princess, forget it. The general really doesn’t like you."

He hadn’t even finished the last word before Lily, furious, forced the food box into the hand of a passing young guard and dragged me away.

I turned back to look at Daniel. The broad-shouldered, rugged Centrallander stood there miserably watching our retreat, arms clutched tight around the food box he’d wrested back from the guard.

Aw—poor him. I felt a little guilty for getting him into a fight with Lily.

(2)
My name is Princess Anasha Drake of Riverside Kingdom.

My father called me the Riverside’s jewel, the most resplendent ruby in the Frontier.

My mother handed me a slice of honeydew and smiled, calling me the oasis rose, the brightest scarlet-blue blossom—no one could dislike her dearest Anasha.

I miss them so much.

But Riverside is eight hundred li from the Western Command; Aria and I had to ride camels for over half a month every time we came.

This trip, I hadn’t met Ethan yet, and I couldn’t bear to go home just yet.

I lay listlessly by the inn window, staring at the distant moon.

The first time I saw Ethan was on a night just as clear.

I had just turned sixteen. Elena had rushed back from Kestrel Province saying she wanted to give me a birthday I’d never forget.

So she and Maris, Philip, Theo and I went swaggering from Riverside into the Empire of Westford.

If Elena hadn’t spotted Kestrel scouts while shopping and hurried us away, covering our tracks, I might have been moved to tears by her "care."

When she couldn’t hide it any longer she teased us, "Little Four, honestly, my fight with him was incidental. The real reason I ran out was to celebrate your birthday."

I tugged a corner of my mouth to show I believed her nonsense.

She even said the scouts were actually looking for her.

That I believed—who would dare run into Westford to spy and expect to keep the peace? Except for the fierce Turan raiders, that is.

Westford was so much fun!

So many curiosities, so many delicious foods, so many tricks I’d never seen.

We, naive and dazzled, magnanimously forgave Elena—siblings through and through—and berated her for not bringing us sooner. This time we’d play until we couldn’t anymore before going back.

We were too young to understand the longing that flickered in Elena’s humming, half-said looks.

Because we didn’t read the meaning, within days envoys from Father and my brother-in-law and guards from the Western Command came and took us home.

That’s when I saw Ethan.

He wore silver armor, a long sword at his lean waist. His skin was darkened from sun and wind. He rode a chestnut horse with such authority, leading trained guards toward us.

He was the most handsome young man I’d ever seen—everything perfect except a little lacking in bulk.

So perfect that when Philip and Theo tried to pull me away, I slapped their hands off with a sharp "smack."

To this day, my mischievous little brother—always starting trouble—still nags that when he remembers how hard I hit him, he decided big sister must be second-best and the top spot should go to me.

Oh right, almost forgot—our positions were secretly messaged to Father by Elena. She solemnly said she only did it to spare our parents worry, but we all suspected she ran off because she missed her husband.

Next morning, when she hurried to say goodbye, she was so flustered she left Theo standing in line, hand raised, as she spurred her horse away into the distance—vanished.

As for the Kestrel envoys being left behind by two or three days longer than her—that’s something our little nephew told us later.

Anyway, that rash escapade is how I met Ethan.

Probably because Father handed urgent letters to Khan Alexander and the Western Command, Ethan and his men found us swiftly and escorted us back to Riverside.

Though Father punished us afterward, I didn’t feel sad.

Because thinking of Ethan made me remember the yogurt cherries we ate in Suzhou—so fragrant and sweet.

(3)
To win Ethan, I’ve tried so many things.

No need to list them—none of them worked.

Father has never been thrilled about my pursuit.

He always says his biggest regret is trusting my brother-in-law’s charm and sending his big-hearted son-in-law so far away.

I peered at the map on the palace wall and cleverly moved my head to block Westford—Ethan’s hometown.

Mother had originally supported me, saying she’d never seen such a handsome young man in Riverside or even the Frontier.

But after two wasted years with no progress, she started urging me to go on matchmaking dates.

Ugh, it frustrates me. She’s been cold to me recently because I stood up her latest match.

I heard Westford girls usually married at fifteen or sixteen; in the Frontier it’s even earlier.

Used to be our parents pampered us sisters and let us stay a couple of extra years. But at nineteen and still unmarried—well, that’s late.

Sigh—how do I make Ethan like me and have kids with me?

While I brooded, a strange, regular barking came from outside.

It was Daniel’s signal to Lily to meet him.

Why not just knock? I wouldn’t stop them from going on a date.

Lily sat sulking about the afternoon, refusing to move.

I nudged her and she grudgingly got up.

I went back to the window and watched flamboyantly dressed Daniel flirting and tugging with Lily until he finally led her away.

He strutted like a colorful rooster—so smug.

Sweet. I want to be in love too.

Lily’s Centrallander name was Lanchema, but Daniel had bothered to ask their registrar and gave her the simpler "Lily."

He even brought a painting of an orchid and said, "This is an orchid—pure and elegant—the most beautiful flower in a Centrallander’s heart."

Lily hugged the painting, tears falling, and declared she would forever be Lily, a beautiful Centrallander flower.

I thought that was fine—considering the man who’d named her was an old lecher who liked teasing girls. Better this way.

Ugh, I felt jealous.

I wanted a Centrallander name too, but Daniel said Centrallanders only give names to their own wives, so I had to try to get one from Ethan.

Once, I finally cornered Ethan at the Western Command. Before I could say anything, he pushed me to another whiskered man and strode off.

The whiskered man politely asked what name I wanted.

Did he think I was going to be his wife? Impossible.

So I rudely left him and ran.

Lily didn’t return for a while—young lovers tend to dawdle.

I decided to sleep instead.

When I woke, a bouquet sat on the windowsill with a note: "For Lily."

Thanks to Ethan, I had stubbornly studied Centrallander for two and a half years; I could read common characters now.

Though my dark circles got worse, Lily didn’t seem sleepy at all. She happily took the flowers and told me that in two months Ethan would escort the Frontier envoys to Westford.

I lit up and pulled the still-dreamy Lily toward the stables.

I had to ask Father to let me go to Westford. If I were there, running into Ethan at every turn, he couldn’t avoid me forever.

The journey would be long and dull—something had to happen to break the boredom.

(4)
I beamed at the not-so-happy Ethan and shoved my favorite white jade rabbit into his arms.

Before departure I had been watching—princes and princesses from Oriana, Shule, and Foxglove County had come too. Two younger princesses went all starry-eyed when they saw Ethan.

I had to admit—they were beautiful.

That didn’t matter; I saw Ethan first. They could line up behind me.

Seeing them eye him like wolves made me decide to act first.

Ethan’s knife-cut brows knit slightly as he tried to hand the rabbit back, but I darted three feet away like lightning.

I cleared my throat, slapped my chest and announced, "This is my favorite little rabbit, for my favorite General Grant."

Ethan’s face instantly went dark, but he didn’t return the gift.

Mainly — if he wants to throw it back, he has to throw it. What if it hits me? In front of so many envoys from other nations? That could affect diplomatic relations, a serious matter.

If it lands on the ground… that white jade rabbit with ruby eyes was expensive. He wouldn’t be willing to wreck it.

Daniel Grant had said that although Ethan Grant is pampered and safe—an heir who’s never wanted for anything—he was sent to the barracks young, trained with the soldiers, ate and slept the same as them. He knows how hard life is for common people, so he learned to be frugal. Not at all like those decadent playboys who drink and gamble all day.

When Daniel said that, I was like, “Aaaah!”

I couldn’t help but smirk inwardly—Anasha, your taste is impeccable.

Now, after finally pulling off a successful gift, I got so excited I blurted out the truth: “General Grant is so adorable, as cute as this little rabbit—just a bit dark.”

Ethan pinched the rabbit and looked even darker.

“No, no—I’m not saying dark is not cute. Dark can be cute, and…healthy. I’ll ask a craftsman to make a black rabbit later—definitely super cute, just like General Grant—cute.”

Soldiers behind us snickered. I didn’t understand why; my explanation sounded fine to me.

Ethan pressed his lips together, said nothing, and shoved the rabbit at Daniel.

With Lily present, Daniel absolutely wouldn’t return it to me. He might even tuck it secretly under Ethan’s pillow or beneath his bedding.

If Ethan hugged that white jade rabbit to his pillow, wasn’t he basically hugging me?

At that thought I nearly burst out laughing, then happily scooted close to Ethan. “General, let’s eat together!”

He didn’t look at me. He turned and went back into his room, coldly: “Princess, compose yourself.”

“I’m not heavy.”

Pretending not to understand, I slipped in before Daniel could heroically stop me and sat right beside Ethan. “General, what are we having today?”

In the end Ethan still picked me up by the back of my neck and tossed me out, then slammed the door with a loud “thwack.”

Luckily the envoys from other nations had already gone to settle in, so no one witnessed the Fourth Princess of Riverside making a fool of herself.

Sigh. And my butt hurt.

(5) Lately Ethan looks a little uneasy whenever he sees me.

Maybe because my advances are a bit too aggressive.

In the mornings I’d leave a bunch of dewy flowers by his window or outside his tent. I admit—that move was Daniel’s idea.

During breaks I’d ride over, press a little trinket into his hand, and then immediately canter back to the Riverside delegation.

At night when the camp set up, I’d slip into Ethan’s tent during the moments Daniel was craning his neck to look at the sky or during guard changes, and squeeze in to eat with him.

At first Ethan always threw me out, but later he just looked thoroughly annoyed and let me act like a queen inside—uh, I mean, sit close and eat with him.

Okay, that was Daniel’s teaching too.

Once, after Lily scolded him bloody‑mindedly for worrying over my bruised butt, she sweetly suggested a plan: “General’s thin‑skinned. If he tries to throw you, Princess, scream—louder the better. Go all out; it’ll work.”

So the next time Ethan tried to toss me, I followed Lily’s counsel to the letter and bawled at the top of my lungs: “Aaaah, General Grant! After I fed you milk and cherries, you’re going to kick me out? Heartless scoundrel, cruel man, shameless cad… wahhhh—”

I hadn’t even worked up real tears before Ethan’s face crumpled.

He covered my mouth, red as a beet, froze for a moment, then hurriedly let me go—no longer throwing me out.

His flushed face was so rare, so beautiful, I couldn’t resist kissing him.

Excited, nervous, and giddy, I bolted out.

I had this strange feeling I’d forgotten something. What was it?

(6) Oh—food.

Starving, I flopped weakly into bed. Lily found me some flatbreads; after I ate she went off to her own rendezvous.

Really—can’t get enough of me during the day, then still date at night.

Since it was past bedtime anyway, I decided to look for Ethan. I wondered if he was as adorable at night as he was during the day.

When I crept to his door, he wasn’t asleep. He was sitting on the roof, looking at the stars.

Everything was quiet—soldiers posted around, everyone else fast asleep.

Ah, this dreamy starlit night was perfect for romance!

So I dragged a ladder over and climbed up to the roof.

“General, watching the stars alone is lonely. I’ll keep you company. Hey—want a sip?”

I untied the wineskin at my waist and offered it to Ethan.

For once he didn’t move away from me; I could even see a faint flush on his face.

He stared at the wineskin for a moment, then looked away.

He didn’t speak. Fine—if he wouldn’t talk, I would. No big deal.

I began with childhood embarrassments, then gradually I forgot what I was even saying.

After the last swallow of wine, I only wanted to kiss his cheek. It felt smooth, like an egg—so kissable.

Ethan avoided looking at me directly. When he finally turned his face, he asked, “Princess, do you like General Shen’s face, or General Shen himself?”

“Can’t I like both?”

Why was I getting drunk so easily tonight? I fluttered my drooping eyelids open, puzzled as I looked at his handsome profile. “Your face is yours, you are yours—both belong to you, so I like both.”

“Then did the Princess like General Shen’s face first, or the man?”

“The face,” I answered honestly.

Ethan seemed to smile. I desperately wanted to see it clearly—he’d never smiled for me before.

But I was so dizzy. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t make out his expression.

“Ethan, I really, really like you. May I kiss you?”

I felt myself about to pass out, so I grabbed his sleeve and asked.

In a haze Ethan seemed to brush my hand away.

Then I woke up in my own room.

Lily looked worried. She said she and Daniel were passing by and found me lying up on the roof, so they carried me down.

Very strange—where was Ethan?

I didn’t go to see Ethan for several days after that; I’d caught a chill on the roof.

When I finally felt well enough to go find him for dinner, he didn’t throw me out—but he wore an unpleasant look and absolutely refused to let me feed him.

Still, I was happy. Eating together meant we could soon sleep together, right?

Okay, that’s a stretch of logic, but a girl can dream—maybe I’d melt this iceberg called Ethan with steady warmth.

Daniel was pleased with my progress. He taught me another trick: secure a man’s stomach and you secure his heart.

So one night when he took off his armor, I worked up the courage to put my hand on Ethan’s stomach.

“How is it? Feeling something?”

My hand rested there expectantly.

Ethan frowned, brushed my hand away, warned me not to practice witchcraft within the Empire of Westford, and sent me out.

“Fine, fine. It’s my fault for not being clear,” Daniel said, holding back a laugh until his face went red. “But it’s okay—your prince’s birthday is the day after tomorrow, Princess. Act well; try to get him to forgive you.”

“The day after tomorrow? So soon? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Daniel scratched his head. “I’ve been busy making a dried‑flower album for Lily. I forgot.”

No time to be bitter—I had to pick a birthday gift.

I dug through the trunks I’d brought, especially the box of things I’d set aside for Ethan. Only a few treasures were left: a set of ceramic figurines I prized, a silk tassel sword knot, a branch of ancient oak, my favorite jeweled belt, and a handful of odds and ends.

I held the belt, looked at it, bit my lip and put it back.

This is something to give later—after he’s fallen for me. Then I’d give him a huge surprise: me, wrapped up as the present.

Nothing in my collection felt worthy as a birthday gift, so I decided to go to the market district.

(7) The room was dark and thick with a terrible stench. Outside came the constant sound of music and occasional lewd laughter.

I knew exactly where I was—a brothel, the kind that traffics women.

My hands were tied behind me, uncomfortable, but worse was the smell—wave after wave of nauseating reek, assaulting my nose and stomach.

If my mouth weren’t gagged, I would have thrown up.

Please don’t tell me the restroom’s next to me.

The thought made me more queasy.

We were scheduled to rest in this city for a couple of days, so I had brought some Riverside warriors to the market with me to choose a gift for Ethan.

I planned everything so carefully—and yet I was still kidnapped.

Those sacks of wine and rice! When I get back, I’ll have Father dock their pay.

I wondered whether Quinn and Lily, when they discovered I’d disappeared, would ask Ethan to come save me.

I waited who‑knows‑how long before someone finally opened the door.

A few burly attendants lifted me out, brought me to a courtyard to wash and dress me, put me in a Kestrel dancer’s gauzy skirt, and then left me in a lavishly decorated room.

After a long while a pot‑bellied, sallow man staggered in, his eyes ratty with hunger, and slurred, “Sweetheart, sweetheart.”

“Sure, I’m pretty—but I’m the Princess of Riverside. I’m not for that.” I propped my chin and judged him. Ugh—disgusting.

“Princess? Even if you’re a princess of the Empire, today you have to serve me well! Come—give grandpa a kiss.”

The pot‑bellied man leaned in.

Ugh… I actually threw up.

He looked furious—face twisted—and reached to tear my collar.

Before he could roar, I leapt up and shoved his head hard into my vomit.

I didn’t mean to be crude. I wanted to poison him gracefully, but the vomit—my gag and the sickness—had made me lose all the poison I’d tucked behind my molar. I’d spit it all out with that throw-up.

After I made sure the drunken, portly man was out cold, I hummed a little tune and hauled him onto the bed. The timing felt about right, so I kicked the bed hard to make it creak—trying to simulate a less-than-harmonious scene.

This sort of thing was child’s play for me. After all, across the Frontier I’ve seen plenty of erotic prints; there wasn’t one I hadn’t encountered.

This time I was actually curious to learn what things were like in the Empire of Westford.

I was thinking it might not be safe to run just yet—maybe I should wait a bit longer—when Ethan Grant arrived to save me.

Problem was, when he drew back the bed curtain, I had a snack in one hand, an erotic print in the other, and one leg kicking the bedpost like mad. Beside me lay a passed-out, filthy middle-aged pervert.

He looked at me like he’d seen a ghost, and I immediately regretted it.

If I’d known it would come to this, I should’ve just dumped the pervert on the floor and then, with three parts flirtation and seven parts embarrassment—eyes wet with a little shame—languished in the curtains, bit my lip and coyly whispered, "General Grant."

"General Grant."

Instead, I forced a guilty, overcompensating smile and shoved the print under me with one hand. "Do you have to come in again?"

I saw Ethan’s gaze follow my hand downward, and his face flushed—the kind of red like a monkey’s behind.

But he also looked furious. He wrapped me tightly in the blanket and then mounted his horse and took me to an unfamiliar place.

"Tell anyone who asks about tonight that you and Lady Victoria hit it off at first meeting. She invited you to her residence for two days, a message got garbled, and there was a misunderstanding."

He set me down. His handsome face remained expressionless.

"But that’s a lie. I don’t even know any Lady Victoria…"

Ethan’s look turned ice-cold. I swallowed the next words.

"There are clothes in the room. Change and rest. I’ll fetch you first thing tomorrow."

"Okay. I’ll wait for you."

He must have been exhausted from rescuing me; I felt a pang of affection.

He told me to rest, but my head was full of him—I couldn’t sleep.

I leaned at the window and counted the hours, waiting for him.

Only after the sun set and rose again did Ethan come in the morning, bathed in dawn light.

He wore the same dark Centrallander robe as the night before, except today it was silver, embroidered with delicate bamboo.

There’s no bamboo in the Frontier—and there was no one like him here.

I sprang up and ran over to him. "Happy birthday, General Grant."

He paused a moment, then turned his face away. "Thank you for your good wishes, Princess. But…why aren’t you dressed?"

I dragged him out to the open courtyard, sunlight warming my face. "I dressed this on purpose to dance for you. Birthdays are for dancing—watch me. I’m going to perform the best dance in the whole Frontier."

After I finished, wiping sweat as I ran back, I stopped beside him. His shadow fell over mine, enclosing me.

"General Grant—how was it? I danced my heart out. I’ve never danced this hard before."

I lowered my head in apology, feeling regretful. "I’m sorry. The gift I picked for you got misplaced when I was grabbed. And I’m sorry for the trouble last night."

"You danced beautifully. I liked it very much."

Ethan lowered his long lashes and looked at me with earnestness.

"Then—can I kiss you now?"

"Princess, I think you’re being a little hasty. That can ruin the mood," Daniel Grant mused, propping his chin on his hand.

"But I really want to kiss him…" I admitted.

And do a few things only spouses should do—though I didn’t have the courage to say that out loud.

I looked up at Ethan riding at the head of the procession and felt my spirits sag. Ever since that day, when he’d grimly taken me back to the envoy’s quarters after hearing my plea for a kiss, he hadn’t spoken much to me. He didn’t stop me, or push me away—he just refused to acknowledge me.

No amount of tantrums, clinging, or coyness made him respond.

I gathered courage and sidled up to him again, pleading softly: "Ethan, you like me, right? Look—Sixth Princess Rylan of Foxglove County secretly laughed at me. Princess Livia and Princess Livia of Oriana are betting a jeweled crown and a chest of gold on whether you’ll like me. If you don’t like me, I’ll be the laughingstock of the Frontier."

He glanced at me and didn’t avoid me this time. "The Sixth Princess of Foxglove was mocked back when you caught her in a snide jest. Princess Livia of Oriana wagered you’ll win, so she added another chest of gold. Princess Anasha—magnanimous and never one to lose face in words—who would dare laugh at you?"

How embarrassing. My melodramatic plea had been pierced straight through. I could only grin stupidly. "You’re talking to me! So you’re not angry anymore?"

Ethan looked at my foolish smile and shook his head helplessly.

After that, my journey settled back into its usual rhythm, centered around one firm theme: pursuing Ethan Grant.

The days flew by. We arrived in Westford and were granted an audience with Khan Alexander.

The Khan of legend sounded like a war god, but in person he was a hearty, kind middle-aged man. He adored his queen—during the ceremonies I saw him steal glances at her, eyes full of little sparkling stars.

I couldn’t help staring at Ethan at the table, too. He wore Centrallander official robes, ate and drank with deliberate grace—handsome and noble, smiling more than usual.

Westford was splendid, prosperous, and it had Ethan. I wanted to stay.

But I didn’t expect so many people would rather I leave.

Princess Livia of the Empire invited me to visit her residence. Only when I arrived did I realize Midland noblewomen were more accomplished at play than we were: polo, archery, cards and wine, poetry contests, zithers and paintings—they could do it all.

I wanted to try polo, but after watching a long time, none of the ladies would swap places with me.

I kept waiting, when someone tapped my shoulder.

A pretty noblewoman in pink smiled with a false warmth. "Princess Anasha of Riverside, we need you. Come with me."

I followed her to a secluded spot and found several elegant noblewomen standing there, prim and proper.

"What do you want with me?" I asked.

A square-faced girl in green said, "Princess, stop pestering Master Ethan."

"I don’t know what your Centrallander word for ‘pestering’ means," I replied. "But I truly like Ethan. I’m pursuing him."

A girl in yellow snorted. "Master Ethan is to be betrothed to our Third Miss Lucas. Even if you Frontier folk lack courtly manners, you must know seducing a betrothed man is shameful, yes?"

"I don’t believe it. He’s never said anything."

The green-clad girl grabbed my arm. "Don’t pretend ignorance. You wish to cling to Master Ethan to stay in Westford, don’t you? With what right do you compete with Lady Lucas’s legitimate daughter?"

I wrenched my arm free and gripped the riding whip at my waist, raising my voice. "Why can’t I compare? My father is King Roland Drake of Riverside. I’m Riverside’s most honored princess."

I Chased Him Until He Came Back

The girl in green laughed lightly and traded looks of contempt with her companions. "Riverside, the Frontier—mere petty little states, nothing but barbarians. Foreign princesses are just uncivilized folk."

I wanted to protest—Riverside wasn't like that. Riverside was the jewel of the Frontier: rich pastures, abundant water, happy people, a land blessed by the gods.

But then I thought of my father's stooped frame, how late into the night he sat exhausted on his throne.

I remembered the Turan envoys who demanded his fealty. I had fled almost in panic, unable to keep up the dignity of a princess.

I just wanted to find Ethan. But when I did, I found only deeper hurt.

I burst into Ethan's manor and found him standing beside a graceful lady.

She stood at the edge of a lotus-filled pond, veils like cicada wings fluttering in the breeze. Her pomegranate-red skirt blazed like sunset. When she turned, the beauty under her veil was breathtakingly exquisite—an air of noble composure so complete it blurred whether the woman outshone the flowers or the scene suited the beauty.

Ethan, dressed all in silver, bamboo-embroidered robes, stood beside her with hands behind his back. When he saw me, he frowned and walked toward me.

"Ethan."

I lifted my face in as bright a smile as I could muster. "Ethan—are you getting betrothed?"

He was silent for a long moment, then grabbed my hand and tried to pull me out the door.

He tugged so hard it hurt; I dug in and fought to stop.

I asked again, "Ethan, do you like me? If you do, I'll go apologize to the lady you're betrothing. I'll climb any mountain, cross any fire—if she nods, I'll do it."

"Sorry."

We stared at each other in a standstill until he finally said those two words.

"Sorry for what?"

I stared into his eyes, trying to read him. He just squeezed my wrist so hard my hand went numb; his eyes were red and he said nothing.

"Ethan, one last question," I said.

I watched the small, mean reflection of myself inside his eyes and felt a swell of pity. "From the start, did you look down on me and on Riverside?"

"Anasha—"

His brow darkened, as if he wanted to say something, but he pressed his lips together.

My wrist felt numb. I had sunk to the bottom of disappointment, yet I felt compelled to erase whatever image of being shallow and ignorant I'd made. "I know in your Empire, noble sons always favor brides from five famed families. Ethan, you're fortunate—Lady Lucas of Fanyang is a prize many would beg for. She chose to join your family."

I thought of the demure lotus maiden and said seriously, "Lady Lucas is beautiful—the most beautiful Centrallander woman I've ever seen. You're well matched. This must be what you call a match made in heaven."

"Ethan, from this moment I don't like you anymore."

I steadied myself, wiped my tears away, blinked until I forced the last drops back, and declared it solemnly.

He stood there stunned, neither speaking nor letting me leave.

In the end, Quinn and Lily came and dragged me away.

They were followed by some official of uncertain rank who accused me of riding recklessly in public and said I owed a hefty fine.

Quinn rummaged through my things, found the gold I'd hidden, and handed it to the grave-faced official.

As soon as he left, I snatched back the little wooden box of gold, collapsed onto the bed and moaned, "Quinn, I got my heart broken. I want to go home."

Quinn waved him off without caring: “Oh, Westford isn't finished entertaining me yet. Princess Anasha, you go back by yourself. Someone like you isn't going to run into any real danger.”

When I chased Quinn around the courtyard with my riding crop, sending him scrambling, he wailed that I’d lost not only love but also family.

No, Grant River — you’ve got it wrong. What I lost was Lily.

(11) Daniel Grant moved with shocking speed.

On our third day in Westford, he proposed to Lily. The man put on all sorts of strange ceremonies and even had his mother serve as witness.

So I watched Lily cry happy tears and couldn’t help letting a few lemon—no, emotional—tears slip.

When that foolish girl, furious, started packing to come back with me to Riverside Kingdom, I stopped her and opened the gate for Daniel Grant to come in.

The result, of course, was that Lily stayed in Westford.

Daniel Grant is a good man; I felt relieved. Still, I probably wouldn’t see Lily again.

She had been with me for ten years—my closest companion, my friend, my sister.

In my luggage was a chest I’d never opened: Lily’s dowry, the one I’d been saving for her.

On the day I left, Lily came to see me off with Daniel Grant.

Daniel slipped a word to me that Ethan Grant was a decent man, but matters of the heart were never logical; you couldn't always separate right from wrong. He told me to let it go.

I nodded and said I would. New loves and time were good cures.

But don’t write to mention Ethan. He and I are done. Completely.

Quinn fussed like an old nurse.

I waved and swung up onto my horse, heading west.

A few hundred paces later, someone called my name.

Quinn turned his horse to block the person.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him over Quinn’s shoulder, looking at me, holding the white jade rabbit inlaid with rubies.

“Halt—”

I didn’t stop. I knew Daniel would have given him the other white-jade female rabbit, and the wedding present I’d prepared for him.

But my most treasured belt was at the bottom of the chest. I couldn't give that away.

Scuffling voices rose behind me and I pretended not to hear.

Actually that day I hadn’t given up hope.

Later, Ethan’s mother came to find me and asked me to meet her in a beautiful garden.

She was an elegant lady, but not fond of me.

She said Ethan had liked Lady Lucas. When the Lucas family had hinted at refusing the Grand Duke's proposal and instead considering marrying Lady Lucas to the scion of the Cui house of Boling, Ethan had been heartbroken and had volunteered to be posted to the Frontier.

Now he returned with the Khan’s favor; the Lucases had relented and planned for him to come back to the Grand Duke’s household to marry. Once married, he would never be able to return to the Frontier.

In the end, Mrs. Grant plucked a flower and handed it to me, saying Ethan felt guilty toward me, and she felt guilty too.

“Why?” I asked, clutching the bloom.

Mrs. Grant smiled with serene composure. “A stray kitten or puppy you pick up and dote on will look up at you with wet, adoring eyes every day. It makes a person feel guilty and hesitant—especially when you know you will eventually have to throw them away again.”

“Anasha, don’t go—don’t leave!” someone shouted.

The voice was hoarse and bordering on frantic.

Ethan was baffling—so casual, yet creating misunderstandings with his actions.

Soon, it seemed the Grand Duke ordered his household guards to take Ethan away, but I never looked back.

The Eighth Princess of Oriana lost her gamble, and I lost mine too.

She lost her ornate crown; I had to keep my promise.

(12)

My mother sent a bundle of silk samples—gifts from Emperor Marcus to the Riverside tribute.

This silk was the finest in the Empire of Westford; only royalty could use such material.

I watched Sixth Princess take the bolts with a grin, sending the palace attendants off to report, and said in a sour tone, “Sister, at least leave me a couple. I’ll be married next year.”

“Fine—then marry Abbe for me, I’ll marry Black Cui, you can have all this.” I smiled and plucked two bolts back from her, tilting my head waiting for her reply.

Sixth Princess snatched back immediately but, before she left, shot one last resentful glance at the silk. “I don’t want it then, you stingy thing.”

I was about to marry Abbe—my father and I had wagered before I departed for Westford.

Abbe is the son of the Riverside general and will one day inherit his father’s post, guarding the kingdom.

He’s two years younger than me. As a child he used to follow me everywhere, and trailing behind him was his mischief buddy, Quinn.

Abbe and Quinn were both little terrors—pulling on the teacher’s beard while he slept, smashing jewels off the general’s wife’s belt, trading my father’s warhorse for trinkets from faraway lands. At one point they nearly had their legs broken by the general and my father.

I never understood why my father paired me with Abbe.

A couple years back Quinn told me Abbe had a girl he liked; I’d wanted Quinn to take me to see her. Instead I went after Ethan and left Quinn hanging.

Well, forget him.

I accepted the bet fairly enough, but I didn’t know why Abbe agreed. Where had the girl he liked gone?

“Fourth Princess.” A maid came running, breathless. “His Majesty summons you. The Western Command’s envoys are here.”

I dressed and followed her, wondering why envoys to the Western Command concerned a mere girl like me.

We reached the main hall quickly.

I spotted a familiar silver robe and thought of running.

It was Ethan.

There were traces of fatigue shadowing his brows—he’d changed from the spirited, swaggering man he’d been months ago.

I forced myself to calm and sat properly beside my father.

I glanced up and saw Abbe too.

The boy who used to call me sister in a squeaky voice had grown tall and now carried an edge of frost in his face.

Ethan stared at me long and hard, then bowed formally to my father. “Ethan Grant requests the hand of Princess Anasha of Riverside.”

He must be mad, I thought.

My father rubbed his temple in silence. After a long pause he said, “I appreciate the general’s regard, but my daughter is already pledged to the general’s son and will be wed next month. General Grant is a youthful hero—please, find another bride.”

I stared at the floor, but Abbe suddenly dropped to one knee at my side and gripped my hand.

He looked at Ethan with coldness and said, “Anasha is to be my wife. If General Grant wishes, he may come and drink at the wedding.”

Then Abbe saluted and, in a protective stance, led me from the hall.

Up close I realized Abbe had grown handsome.

Okay, now I was certain: I would willingly marry him.

Maybe the girl he once liked was me—how touching that he’d loved me silently for so long. I resolved to treat him well.

But before I could spark that tiny flame, Abbe said, “Sister.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “You called me what?”

“Sister.” Abbe retracted his hand and raised a brow, folding his arms. “Haven’t I always called you that?”

“You…were supposed to be in love with me. Now we’re getting married—pick me a cute pet name or something.”

I smiled at earnest Abbe. No matter—paper-thin romances get poked through eventually. Also, I’m two years older; it’s proper for him to yield.

Abbe tilted his head and burst out laughing until he was breathless. When he finally caught his breath, I realized his feelings for me were pure, simply sibling affection.

I leaned on the palace railing and mourned the second love that died before it could be born.

“Can this marriage still happen?” I elbowed the person next to me.

“Sure. Why not?” Abbe whistled casually. “Sister, if people like us get to marry who we love, that would be the miracle.”

Great—fellow misfits.

Soon Abbe linked arms with Quinn as they strolled by.

I sighed, ready to mull over a live-and-let-live arrangement with Abbe, when a flash of silver at the hall’s corner caught my eye.

Just as I thought to slip away, the owner of the silver robe stopped me.

“Ethan, what are you doing?” I demanded.

(13) Ethan’s eyes burned as if he could melt the jewel on my brow. “Why are you marrying him?”

“Want to, so I will. There’s no big why.” I tried to step past, but he blocked me with his body.

“But the one you love is me.”

I almost rolled my eyes, but a proper princess wouldn’t. Instead I composed myself and looked at Ethan coolly. “General Grant, I decided not to like you while we were in Westford. Do you think I only said that for show or as a deliberate tease?”

Ethan, who’d hardly seen me serious before—I’d always been playful around him, overflowing with affection—stalled. The light in his eyes dulled. “Why didn’t you wait? Just two more days—I'll give you the answer you want—”

I cut him off and looked into the distance. “Ethan, I’m getting married next month. Don’t come to the wedding. I don’t want Abbe feeling awkward.”

Ethan didn’t stop me then, but as we brushed by each other his hand grabbed mine and he murmured under his breath, chin lowered, “Anasha, I won’t let you marry another.”

I slipped free and left with calm composure, ignoring whatever else Ethan had to say.

After that, Ethan never showed up again.

I remained the carefree Fourth Princess of Riverside, and wedding plans became my mother’s business.

When Quinn saw me, I was playing backgammon with the maids, loudly and with gusto.

He dragged me away by the arm, face thunderous, and scolded, “How can I have such a clueless, airheaded sister?”

“You’re the clueless one—your whole family’s clueless!” I babbled, then realized I'd put my foot in my mouth. Meeting Quinn’s exasperated look, I fell silent.

He sighed. “Sister, Abbe was seen on a date with some woman. I’m furious—I'm going to cut him off!”

“Oh…was she pretty?” I asked.

“Pretty, and a nice figure.” Quinn thought hard and then eyed me with disdain. “She’s way better than you, but you’re still a princess—my sister. How could Abbe do this to you?”

I patted the lovable idiot’s shoulder. “Did you see them holding hands? Kissing? Maybe she was a distant relative.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Quinn blushed, shook his head, and ran off like the wind.

I guessed he'd already had a fight with Ab before he came — busy apologizing to his childhood friend.

I watched Quinn's retreating back and sighed.

Ugh, I really have been sighing a lot lately.

Honestly, I'm so miserable. A proper princess, and before I'm even married I have to cover for my fiancé. Life is hard.

The day after I met Ethan, I went looking for Ab, planning to cultivate our bond. Wouldn't it be lovely if sister-brother affection turned into romance? A little puppy boyfriend, a little wolfish one—so tempting.

Who knew that just as I lifted Ab's chin, aiming for a meaningful stare—

Ab turned his head and burst out laughing. He rolled on the ground until he finally stopped, and then I understood: Ab never had a secret crush on me. He already had someone in his heart.

My fiancé has an unforgettable white-moon light. That's a bit much.

But he still has to marry me. And I'll still marry him.

(14) The night before the wedding, I saw Ethan again.

This time he wore a black riding outfit from Riverside, with a short blade at his side. He looked much more alert than before.

But that self-contained, come-what-may expression made me want to smack him. I regretted not letting my father dock pay from those palace guards last time.

What a bunch of freeloaders.

Is Riverside Palace somewhere Ethan can just stroll into whenever he pleases?

Well… yes.

And he brought someone with him. The two of them swaggered into my chambers.

The other man was… Daniel Grant?

When Ethan wrapped me up like a rice dumpling and carried me off, I was stunned. The man handing him the rope—was that really Daniel?

Daniel wouldn't meet my torchlike glare. He must have been afraid I'd accuse him of abetting Ethan and conspiring with him.

Ethan carried me out of the palace. I don't know where they took me; the carriage ride was bumpy. When Ethan finally laid me on a bed and loosened the bindings, he didn't leave.

His dry lips brushed my forehead in a light kiss. One hand braced on the bed's edge, his gaze fixed, refusing to fade into the dark.

"Anasha," he said, "I miss you like a madman."

A few stars outside the window cut through the night and struck his eyes.

I propped myself up, tilted my face toward his cheek, looped my arms around his broad, strong shoulders and bumped my nose against his jaw. "Ethan, may I kiss you?"

Before he could answer, I kissed him.

I don't know what he was thinking. He let me kiss him a few times, and when I bored the kiss deeper and loosened my mouth, he suddenly pushed forward with force—one arm around my waist, the other smoothing my hair down his back—and deepened the kiss.

He kissed with such intensity I could only receive it, growing short of breath.

It was time.

He probably didn't realize I was guarding myself from everyone—even him.

Ethan finally sensed something was wrong, but he couldn't hold on.

Still, it took me a lot of effort to shove him off, flip out of bed, and fix my clothing. "Ethan, I've told you—I don't like you. I'm leaving.

If you keep forcing me, I'll have my father send a diplomatic letter to Khan Alexander today. Riverside may be small, but I'll demand justice."

Before falling into sleep, Ethan croaked, "Anasha, don't go back."

I ignored him and opened the door. Daniel was waiting in the courtyard.

He wasn't surprised and didn't stop me. When I crossed the threshold he asked quietly, "Princess, are you really going back?"

I nodded.

"I respect your choice, but…" Daniel sounded regretful. "Ethan has taken on a lot to be with you. If you leave now, you might never have another chance together."

I still nodded and left with resolve.

Before I left I told Daniel the truth: Ethan and I could never have loved each other from the start. I just understood that too late.

When I returned to the palace, Riverside had changed.

(15) My father and mother had been imprisoned. Ab was detained at the general's residence. Quinn and the sixth sister were missing.

I had suspected a day like this might come, but I always refused to think it through. I habitually prettified everything.

My father and mother had no love between them. Elena's marriage to Kestrel's prince was a political union. Maris and Philip's marriage was likewise to strengthen the Drakes' hold on Riverside.

My father's bargain with me was perhaps his last gift of a dream to the fourth child.

Why Ab?

Because his father, General Yi, secretly courted ministers and royal relatives to steer Riverside toward the Turan side. Over the year his moves grew bolder.

Riverside is a vassal of Westford. Turning coat could spark Westford's wrath and an invasion. My father had seen Westford's prosperity and Turan's ferocity. Riverside is only five thousand households—a tiny place that cannot afford to offend either side.

Marrying Ab would appease General Yi. More importantly, Ab stood with my father. If the plan worked and Turan failed, Ab might kill his own father and seize military power to placate Westford.

My father was trying to walk a fine line for Riverside's survival.

I wasn't a model princess. I was born to be maintained by my people and owed Riverside my life. But when my father showed guilt over his earlier children, I pretended naiveté and let selfish love fill me.

Ethan thought I didn't understand and warned me in the palace, but who needed his reminding?

Princess or sacrificial pawn—I would take the responsibility I should have borne long ago.

This time I didn't run.

General Yi used my mother's life as leverage, and after I surrendered, he separated me from my parents and kept us imprisoned apart.

What baffled me was why General Yi would rebel now—my father had shown him sincerity, at least outwardly.

Then I saw Ab.

I thought the detained Ab would meet me with composure. He lowered his head and said sorry.

"Why?" I asked, voice raw. "Ab, when your mother died at the hands of Yuhime and your father, you swore you'd avenge her. You promised when Quinn and I saved you from Yuhime that you'd repay us no matter what. Betrayal—this is your vow?"

"She's back," Ab said, his back to me. "The Turan people are returning her to me. I'm sorry, princess. She is the person I want to protect most."

"You can kill me. Don't call me 'sister.' It's disgusting."

After a long silence Ab turned. His face was cold and hard. "Fourth Princess. The Turans demand you marry Lord Kuril's younger brother to forge ties between the two states."

"You don't need to be so upset—if not you, they'd take the sixth princess. According to my father's original plan, you'd marry me and the sixth would be sent to Turan. Now only you're taken; the sixth might still marry her childhood friend, the dark-haired Chui."

I closed my eyes, unable to accept this fate—mine and Riverside's.

(16) Fate had worse cruelties in store.

Crouched in the grass after an emergency bowel moment, I felt conflicted and called Ethan over for a scrap of cloth… to wipe myself.

Yes, you read that right: Ethan.

I always knew Ethan was capable, but I didn't expect him to bethis capable—he had even infiltrated the Turan escort and become my dedicated guard.

So when this princess had to relieve herself outdoors, he stood not far away watching, in case I tried to run.

Don't ask why I didn't get a maid—I glared at a Turan maid cutting grass nearby and suddenly my butt hurt.

I walked back to the carriage in a sour mood, convinced he'd heard me pass gas.

As I sat, someone followed and sat beside me.

"Why did you come in here? If you want to die, don't drag me down with you," I said.

I questioned Ethan's intelligence. He plopped down so casually—didn't he fear someone would notice something wrong?

"I told them you were acting suspicious, so I needed to be close to protect you," Ethan said without a flinch. He bent, his breath brushing my hair, a faint, tender smile at his lips.

Even if I'd given up on him, I had to admit—his face made him dangerously persuasive to an engaged young woman like me.

He smoothed my little braid, scooted me deeper into the carriage, shifted his body and made himself a human wall, trapping me inside.

My head spun. He stood with his hands braced on the carriage wall, eyes fixed on me, voice deadly serious. "Anasha. When this is over, I'll go anywhere with you—ocean's end, horizon's edge."

His nose inched closer until it almost touched my brow. "Since last time in Riverside we already consummated as husband and wife, you must be responsible."

Consummated? Husband and wife?

Was he assuming I'm too stupid to know what he's implying?

"Ethan, what are you trying to do?"

"I never favored Lucinda," he answered, oddly off-topic.

I shrugged and yawned, turning my head. My yawn was cut off when someone grabbed my hand. His palm was cool; his voice was low—never had it been this low—"Sorry it took me so long to figure this out."

"At first I did want to marry a noble family's daughter. After returning to Westford I couldn't decide."

Ethan's clear eyes glistened with faint moisture. He spoke earnestly, "After you left, I understood: my heart is yours. It has to be you."

(17) The journey to the Turan court was rough.

Ethan found new ways to flirt with me every day, and the Turans didn't suspect a thing. Two strangers crammed into a shabby carriage together could spark trouble, but they were innocent.

Was I too worldly, or were our enemies too naive?

When we finally reached the royal camp, I was placed in the Kuril family's tent to await marriage.

The Turans were more impatient than I was. The day after my arrival they dragged me into the bridal chamber.

The camp outside buzzed with voices. I sat quietly on a bed lined with a sheepskin blanket and waited.

Ethan didn't come. He'd said he liked me—liar.

After a long while, I was yawning non-stop when Kuril pushed open the door.

I'd seen Kuril before: a middle-aged man who got things done by force.

I’d assumed his only younger brother would be around the same age—maybe even the widower type who’d take me on as a stepmother to his son.

But the young man standing there had thick brows and big eyes, with a handsome, clean-cut face—the very look frontier girls swooned over.

If the Turan raiders hadn’t been so brutal, I might’ve happily married a fellow like him.

Quillis staggered toward the bed reeking of liquor, then Ethan Grant cut him off with a single hand strike. Quillis went down like a sack.

Daniel Grant somehow slipped into the tent as well.

I stared dumbfounded as Daniel pulled out a small box of odd little devices and fiddled with them in front of Ethan. Ethan’s face shifted into Quillis’s for a moment—then switched back; Daniel fiddled again and it flipped back to Ethan.

God, was Daniel some kind of sorcerer?

Daniel made a face, escorted Quillis out, and Ethan immediately sat down beside me. He put on a look of earnest tenderness and whispered that we had to sleep and eat together to avoid suspicion.

As if I believe that.

I didn’t want to be forced to marry Quillis, but I certainly never meant to harm him.

Ethan’s stunt didn’t secure anything for me, for my parents, or for Riverside Kingdom. If anything, it only tied me irrevocably to him.

Angry and frustrated, I kicked Ethan off the bed. “Who asked to get on your filthy ship?”

I never expected—of all things—to end up on Ethan’s ship. And I picked up a few extra titles along the way: undercover agent jointly assigned by the Empire of Westford and Riverside, Ethan’s contractual wife, Ethan’s direct subordinate, Ethan’s bedwarmer little sister.

(18) Being an undercover agent was mostly just for show. I didn’t really have much to do.

Ethan, however, played Quillis’s role every day to gather information. He came back at night to record important details and taught Daniel what to pass along.

That’s when I learned Quinn and Theo had been spirited away to the Western Command, and were likely escorted by Protector Gu to a safer city inside Westford proper.

Once the fight with the Turan raiders ended, the Emperor Marcus would dispatch troops to bring them home to Riverside.

I didn’t quite get it. Westford was so powerful—why wait?

Ethan put his pen down, reached over, and tapped my forehead. He said the raiders hadn’t openly attacked Riverside; their control was being exerted in the shadows. An outright assault right now would have no just cause.

Fine—Centrallanders loved their paperwork and needed proper reasons for everything.

I curled under the blanket rubbing my head, and watched Ethan lift a corner of the coverlet with a sly smile and climb in.

Here we go again.

To sell our act, Ethan and I had to make some noises every night. He’d learned that Quillis couldn’t resist women.

I turned away from him and whimpered, but there was no reply behind me.

That wasn’t right. Weren’t we supposed to coordinate? No solo performances.

I turned and saw him staring at me, a suspicious flush rising on his cheeks.

“Ethan…”

I tried to push his chest, but he just swept me into his arms.

Ethan bent and kissed my forehead, then quickly blew out the lamp. “Sleep.”

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Don’t move, Anasha.”

He curled an arm around my waist, resting his head at my throat, a little sigh in my ear. “Even when you’re right in front of me, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Can I kiss you?”

His voice was husky.

(19) I was a little furious.

The night before Ethan had held me and kissed me for a long time. I’d meant to push him away, but he’d accused me—when we were in Westford—of stealing a kiss from him and then refusing to make it up. He said a proud Riverside princess shouldn’t do such things and then not own them.

That sounded…reasonable enough.

But it had only been one little stolen kiss. Did it have to go on so long?

Also, I suspected Ethan couldn’t quite control himself—the look in his eyes worried me.

So in a huff I handed him over to Quillis’s second wife, Shanning.

Shanning—pretty and sharp-tongued—was said to be of noble birth and had willingly become Quillis’s second. Quillis doted on her; the jewels on her belt were larger and flashier than mine, the big wife’s.

On my third day of marriage she came at the head of a gaggle of little mistresses who dared not lift their heads. She sneered and lectured me to stop monopolizing our husband during our honeymoon—don’t keep him from giving Quillis an heir.

I sipped my steaming milk tea and smiled sweetly. “Oh? When you were monopolizing him, did you give him a son?”

Shanning flounced away in a huff—zero dignity from a junior wife.

After that she kept finding reasons to fuss with me. When she couldn’t locate Ethan she’d send messages to me—oh, I’m ill, please come see me. Or, my noble family must visit, you must allow Quillis to meet them.

I hadn’t wanted Ethan pulled into this—he’d pushed things too far and I didn’t want to see him anymore. So when Shanning barreled into the camp late one night to block a drunken Ethan, I had him carried away.

Without Ethan’s teasing, I lay awake on the bed longer than I expected.

I was just slipping my shoes on to go watch the moon when I heard three short barks and two long ones.

Daniel’s emergency signal.

I rushed out of the tent and followed Daniel, who was in a panic, around to another tent.

Inside, Shanning lay unconscious on the floor.

Ethan—back to his real self and in disarray—was tied to a post in a cupboard, his face flushed, a cut at his temple.

No way—Ethan hadn’t been assaulted by Shanning, had he?

Guilt hit me hard. Daniel’s voice floated behind me, low and grave. “Luckily I found them in time and didn’t let Shanning notice. But Ethan’s been drugged. Princess, now he’s got to rely on you.”

“They actually had aphrodisiacs in ancient times? I thought that was a myth…”

Daniel’s voice drifted. Aphrodisiac…wait—aphrodisiac?!

(20)

Ethan lay on my bed now, his face like a spring peach, eyes liquid and sultry. He bit his lip, calling softly, “Sasha.”

Daniel—ungrateful sod that he is—had run off after dragging Ethan back, leaving me to face the awkward mess.

After a long hesitation I resigned myself and moved to the bed.

If it hadn’t been for me, Ethan wouldn’t have almost been violated. In Riverside we treated a young man’s chastity with value too.

“Ethan.”

The frontier aphrodisiac couldn’t be undone easily. I lay down beside him and murmured, “If you’re really suffering, I can help.”

Ethan’s eyes gleamed. Dampening the hair on his forehead, he put a hand on my cheek. “Then will you marry me?”

I shook my head. “I just want to fix what I did. I shouldn’t have tossed a drunk, defenseless you to Shanning.”

The light in his eyes dimmed. He turned away and pulled the blanket up, back to me. “Go. I’ll endure it.”

“The frontier aphrodisiac’s strong. If it doesn’t clear, you could be ruined!”

I awkwardly grabbed his shoulder to turn him, and saw his eyes wet—his face written with grievance.

He choked on a sob when he saw me looking. It was…kissingly adorable.

Ethan shrugged off my hand and hid his face, sniffling.

Thinking of our secret mission, of Quinn and Theo in Westford waiting for rescue, of my parents and Riverside counting on us, rage flared. I grabbed his collar and kissed him hard, over and over. “Marry—marry—marry me!”

Ethan quickly clapped his hand over his mouth. “Really?”

“Really, really, really.”

I sighed with relief, then annoyed myself. “You’re so—”

I didn’t finish. Ethan flipped me over and pinned me down, cutting off whatever I was about to say.

His hands and mouth moved clumsily, my heart racing. I forgot everything else and wanted only to drown in this strange, pounding desire.

Still, Ethan refused to cross the final line. He insisted on a formal wedding.

I rolled my eyes. Who had been teasing whom so wildly last night? Now suddenly he was serious as a cleric.

Wait—if this was enough to relieve him, what on earth were we doing?

Ethan closed his eyes and pulled me into his arms. I could feel his smooth forearm and the faint scars on his chest.

“Sasha, actually there’s good news. We’ll be leaving here soon.”

I shot up from bed, trying to rein in my excitement and whispering, “Really? That’s amazing!”

Ethan half-closed his eyes. “Shouldn’t Sasha show gratitude to the one who brought this good news?”

“Ah? Oh—thank you…waah…”

Ethan had once again taken most of the advantage. While he dressed I hid my face in the covers, silently furious: Ethan Grant, you bastard.

But I hadn’t expected him to be gone for several days. In that time Shanning stormed through and had me bound and taken away.

(21) I couldn’t bear to look Shanning in the eye. Ethan had whispered that she and Quillis had tastes for rather extreme things—hence why Ethan had been tied up and drugged.

If Quillis were here I couldn’t even meet his gaze.

I looked at Shanning with complicated feelings. I didn’t catch whether she was calling me a seductress or a little bitch—I only thought: she’s two years younger than me and plays rough.

“Princess Anasha Drake, I regret not just killing you back in Westford,” Shanning snarled, her pretty face contorted with hatred. “Then you wouldn’t have stolen Quillis’s heart!”

My knees went numb from kneeling. I moved my weight and looked up sincerely. “If I told you Quillis and I had nothing, would you believe me?”

“You think I’d fall for your lies? You cling to Quillis night and day and have him wrapped around your finger—he’d rather bash his head in than be with me…”

“Actually,” I interrupted, “it’s nights, not days.”

My damned mouth always outran my brain—why poke the hornet’s nest?

Shanning was furious and ordered me dragged into a small room.

Soon a burly Turan man shoved the door open and slunk in, eyes leering as he approached.

Shanning had to be dumber than me. Sure, my mouth sometimes moved before my thoughts caught up, but Shanning was outright reckless.

If she wanted to frame me for adultery, she couldn’t do it in her own camp—someone would notice. And this man was uglier than Quillis. Didn’t she want someone at least presentable? Could I, a princely bride and the legitimate wife of the noble Quillis clan, be accused of choosing an older, unwashed brute?

But here in Turan lands we were watched constantly. There wasn’t time for elaborate schemes—use a little and see if it sticks, I guessed.

“This brave warrior…”

I spoke slowly, “What did Second Madam promise you? As for me—the grand madam who’s adored by my lord day and night—I’ll promise you double!”

“Hahaha, Princess, you and Ethan are so active in the bedroom—don’t you worry about running out of energy? Hahaha!”

The man grinned slyly, then suddenly shifted into a look of honest simplicity.

“Sh—Shen—Daniel?”

I… how humiliating.

“What are you doing here?”

Daniel scooted over and sat beside me, pleased as punch as he patted my shoulder. “I’m undercover too. I belong to the Uqechi clan—Uqechi Sanning’s people.

They were sneakily picking people for… favors today, so I came to see. Turns out they chose me.

Well, good thing it was me.”

“Fine. So what do we do now?” I asked, trying to keep my face.

Daniel scratched his head, awkward. “We just wait.

They’ll definitely go fetch Ethan.

Wow, didn’t expect the Turan raiders to have palace-house drama too.

Man, women throughout history really are terrifying.”

But the moment he caught me glaring at him and mouthing, “I’ll tell Lily,” he went quiet as a hen.

After maybe an hour or so, Kuli finally showed up, playing Ethan. His face was ashen; he kicked the door open and scooped me up, carrying me back to the chamber.

Sanning and a crowd, with Daniel shoved in their custody, chased after us, jogging.

Ethan looked exhausted and frantic; sweat dotted his brow, the corners of his eyes were rimmed red, glistening with tears.

Only I could see them.

(22) Sanning cried herself out of rage.

With Daniel as the witness to this “traitor,” Ethan ignored her false accusations and declarations of love, and instead he turned and handed her over to Daniel.

Daniel nearly leapt up to fight Ethan.

After everyone left, Daniel started bawling and cursing Ethan like the sky was falling.

“I only told you to watch her and the Uqechi, don’t go pulling crazy stunts—I didn’t tell you to hurt her.”

Ethan’s expression hardened as he shooed his brother away, then quickly returned to me, burying my face against his chest, gentle as ever. “Sasha, you can’t stay any longer. Tomorrow I’m sending you home.”

“Ethan, when I had trouble back in the Empire of Westford, it was Sanning who sent Turan spies to kidnap me and throw me into that brothel.

At the time, Kuli was already planning a marriage alliance with Riverside. My father had only me and Sixth Sister unmarried; in Riverside, as long as an elder sister is unwed, a younger sister can’t marry.

So I was the obvious candidate.

She didn’t want me to marry Kuli, so she staged the whole thing.”

“This might even be two birds with one stone.

My honor ruined, my reputation destroyed—Kuli won’t take me.

If the incident happened on Westford soil, it could drive a wedge between Westford and Riverside. Maybe they wouldn’t need a marriage to be persuaded to switch sides.”

“She hurt me. I’ll hurt her back.”

Ethan’s face was full of pain. “Sasha, what do you want to do?”

“I can’t do what she did.

She loves Kuli. Let her watch Kuli fall in love with other women—one by one.”

Ethan said nothing.

Sanning, wearing the face she always used to bully her maid, looked terrified as she watched another “Sanning” in finery—joined by many women—play those cruel, exciting games with the real Kuli, humiliating and wounding her deeply. Ethan still didn’t speak.

I’m that kind of person—I repay every slight.

Princess Anasha of Riverside isn’t someone to be bullied with impunity.

“I’m leaving. General Grant, please take care of yourself.”

I waved and joined the caravan heading back to Riverside, not looking at him.

Ethan would never know that I’d deliberately sent word, multiple times, that I was involved with Kuli—just to rile Sanning and make her come after me.

If she acted, Ethan would, of course, first send me back to Riverside.

It was a risky gambit, even though I’d prepared poison and concealed weapons for self-defense.

But I had to return to Riverside.

(23) The next time I saw Ethan, I was already the new queen of Riverside.

Ethan, carrying an imperial decree from Emperor Marcus, had escorted envoys to congratulate my coronation and renew the two kingdoms’ treaty.

Within a year and a half, the Western Turan had first been routed by Westford’s army and driven out of Riverside, then Westford’s forces struck at the Turan court itself, leaving them shattered.

He looked rougher than before, a blue stubble at his lips, standing straight behind the envoys with a blank face as he greeted me.

My smile was composed—unfazed when a hand reached from the side of the throne to cover mine.

It was Ebu—my husband, now prince consort.

That night I had fine wine prepared; after the banquet broke up, I fetched Ebu back to share a drink.

He arrived already a little tipsy, smug and pleased with himself. I leaned into him, poured a cup, took a slow sip, then, looping my arm around his neck, offered the cup to him.

My hand found the swell of his stomach.

The night was quiet. Smoke from the incense curled like a soft veil.

A moment later I laughed softly.

Ebu frowned, color in his face. “What are you laughing at?”

I couldn’t help but stand, took a handkerchief to clean my fingers, looked closely at my right hand—felt it still stained. “Because, today I finally get to take your life.”

“You—”

Ebu barely had time to reach for his dagger before he fell straight down, blood gushing from seven orifices.

I knelt, drew the blade out, toyed with it in my hand, then slowly plunged it into his heart.

Watching his face contort in pain, I finally felt satisfaction.

Those who’d just tasted the peak of power always died disgruntled; I explained kindly, “Yes, it was all an act.

I planned this for over a year; you don’t die undeservedly.”

How could he be deserving?

“At first I thought you loved that girl so much you’d betray your vows to your mother and betray us.

But when you saw Westford’s military strength and Turan’s hopelessness, you killed your father, took his power, and repeatedly pledged loyalty to Westford.”

I held the dagger’s hilt and pushed it home. “Ebu, you were nothing but a greedy coward.

That girl was pitiful—branded a Turan spy and killed by the man she loved.”

I stood and looked at him with a touch of regret. Cruel people are apt to accomplish great things; Ebu might have been such a man, but his mind was a mess—like when he actually believed I was truly in love with him.

“How was my acting? From extreme hatred and resistance at first, to hesitant sparks when we touched, to the loosening when I became pregnant, down to complete surrender—willing to have children and rule Riverside with you—didn’t I play it perfectly?”

“But who would love a man like you, especially one who indirectly caused his own father’s death?”

“Still, you didn’t entirely believe me. You thought yourself firmly in power and let your guard down—so I seized the chance.

If nothing went wrong, your loyalists are probably dead by Quinn and Sixth Brother’s blades, dragged down to the underworld with you.”

He was thoroughly dead—why was I still talking?

I pocketed the command token I’d taken, ordered men to drag Ebu’s body away.

Moonlight flooded the window; I felt a lightness I hadn’t in a long time, though my heart was hollow.

I turned, and a handsome face filled my view. I curled my lip and decided the next day I would send the palace guards to Westford to learn their martial arts.

No need to wait. Send a delegation now—no, send it this very moment.

Before I could speak, Ethan had me pressed against the wall. He tried to go further but failed.

I clutched my round belly and snapped upward, “How dare you bully a pregnant woman—what kind of man are you, Ethan?”

He stroked my cheek, eyes rimmed red. “Sasha, you lied to me.”

I turned my head to avoid him. “I am a sovereign—General, restrain yourself.”

His voice was low and hoarse. “A marriage envoy doesn’t need restraint—you must build feelings quickly to advance peace between the two nations. That is the priority.”

A marriage envoy?

What on earth is Westford doing—are they sending Ethan to be my concubine?

Oh—now that I think about it, Westford is stingy; they could’ve sent a few more.

I swallowed nervously. “I am already married.”

“He’s dead.”

Good heavens, how long did he stare—was he squatting on the roof or at the window? Westford fighting skills are unbelievable!

We must learn them! Send the delegation tomorrow—no, right now!

“I’m pregnant.”

Ethan lowered his gaze to my belly. “I can be his father.”

My eyebrows knitted in alarm. “I won’t have a second child!”

Ethan braced his hands on the wall. “I accept. Willingly.”

My thoughts raced for some excuse to refuse him. Wait—hold on—I am the queen of Riverside now; do I even need a reason to refuse?

So I stood up proudly and declared, without seeing Ethan’s strange expression, “I refuse!”

(24) I wanted to crawl into the ground, but I couldn’t—not when Ethan, after seeing my belly subside with a little noise, suddenly slammed into me and kissed me like a man possessed.

I couldn’t push him off. The world spun, and when I came to I was already on the bed.

Ethan had kissed my face hard, my earlobe and neck—then abruptly stopped and buried his head in my shoulder.

“Why didn’t you wait?”

“Why did you lie to me?”

I listened to him choke on the words. It was the second time I’d seen Ethan cry.

He bore wounds—several long gashes, even healed they were shocking, suggesting deep blades.

I’d seen those scars years ago when I’d spied on Ethan bathing. Back then, my heart ached and I cried, but Daniel told me Ethan never cried, that no matter how much pain he felt he never made a sound.

My shoulder’s garment was damp; I thought, perhaps I had truly wounded his heart.

After a long silence, I finally spoke calmly. “Back then Ebu killed General Yi, took my father captive, and planned to set up a puppet ruler.

My siblings were scattered and hard to contact, so my father, heavily imprisoned, had to use our mole in West Turan to get word to me—so I would return to the court to oppose Ebu.”

“Ebu sought Westford’s favor. With me as the rightful heir and with Quinn and Sixth Brother speaking in Westford, he had to weigh the cost of installing a new king.

My father and I staged the whole thing. He pretended to fear being deposed, forced me to marry Ebu, and promised that if we succeeded, he would petition Westford for titles, officially letting the Yi and Long houses co-rule Riverside.”

“To win Ebu’s trust, my father went mad—indulged in vice and even poisoned himself slowly, ensuring the throne would pass to me.”

In those months, most of what my father and I did was argue.

I accused him of betraying Queen Helena, of breaking faith with his ministers and the people; I told Father Roland that he smashed the palace and wanted to expel me, to sever father and daughter.

When Ibruk arrived, Father laughed and explained to him that it was only said in anger—careful, gentle, and smiling.

Until he died, we were all acting. Only our tears and mourning were real.

I breathed in deeply. “Ethan, I can’t wait for you anymore. As for deceiving you—I'm sorry. I had no choice.”

Ethan pressed his forehead to mine, eyes closed, murmuring, “I should be the one to apologize. When you needed me most, I wasn't by your side. From now on, in fortune and misfortune, life and death, I’ll be with you. I won’t let you leave me again.”

I closed my eyes too; my sinuses and chest suddenly clogged, and the dam broke. “No—don’t give me a belated love. I won’t take a too-late apology.”

(25) Daniel Grant invited me to drink.

He dug into his pocket and tossed me a red silk packet, saying it was leftover wedding candy from New Year’s—Lily had specially set some aside and asked him to bring it to me because I’d missed the wedding.

Lily had intended to come this time, too, but discovered she was pregnant just before leaving, so she stayed behind.

Daniel lit up talking about the baby, grinning like an idiot.

He’d always been like that—every time he saw Lily, he couldn’t hide the simple, stupid joy in his eyes.

I opened the silk packet; inside were ten candies wrapped in red paper. I bit one—sweet and light, right to my heart.

I took a swig of wine. “That’s nice.”

“Princess, actually I’ve never understood.” Daniel grew serious. “Why won’t you accept Ethan?”

I knew he’d come as Ethan’s advocate this time.

“I don’t know either. Back then I said I would give up because I thought I had exhausted every scrap of passion and courage. I didn’t want to keep humbling myself, harboring an impossible longing. Besides, many Centrallanders look down on Riverside.”

I propped my hands on the high parapet and squinted out over the bustling capital. Beyond it lay the outskirts—scattered houses and campfires.

This is the land that raised me—my homeland, the place that holds my attachment, a sanctified home.

“Ethan is one of them,” I said. “Maybe I could love humbly, but I couldn’t accept being denied even the dignity of equality.”

“Afterwards…” I curled my knuckles against the wall. “Too many things happened between us. We could never go back to the beginning. I think what he loved was the innocent, adorable Anasha—not the calculating, lying Riverside princess with blood on her hands.”

“Everyone has limits—of era, of class. Ethan is no exception. To be fair, choosing to follow his heart and pursue you was like tearing open everything he’d known and sought after to start anew. That choice was hard. Though belated, he still chose you. From the moment he made that decision, he never retreated.”

“He’s shown respect, I think, with his actions.” Daniel added.

I turned to him, dazed. “What do you mean?”

“He volunteered to go undercover to the Turan raiders. He asked to go—only to trade for your safety and Riverside’s. After you left, Ethan barely survived returning from Turan.”

“He probably won’t tell you that, so he asked the sovereign to let him renounce the heirship and the Grant household’s protection so he could, one day, legitimately be with you. After the Riverside affairs were settled, he resigned and didn’t return to court. I asked him if giving up what he’d sought for years would make him regret it. He said: nothing in this world matters more than you. He’d travel with you through the world’s wonders or stay in Riverside—wherever you wished.”

“Princess.” Daniel leaned in. “Love moves forward with people. No one’s feelings are trapped in a single moment or stage. It’s like he loved the old you then; now he loves the you of today. Whether feelings changed—no one can judge that for the other. Both people have to speak.”

I whispered, “Both people have to speak?”

Daniel nodded and gestured toward a corner of the palace. “Ethan is waiting for you. You should talk.”

A cool breeze brushed my face, and I remembered a day in the Turan royal court when Ethan had returned injured but refused to tell me why. I scolded him in a panic; he only gently wiped my tears and told me not to worry.

“Sasha, if I’m discovered and die here, they’ll probably only be able to give me a shroud tomb. I’ll trouble you to split my grave—half in Riverside, half in Westford.” He said it so casually. I nearly sobbed. “Why—why Riverside?”

He pulled me into his arms, his resolute chin against my forehead, wiping my tears with one hand and speaking so gently: “I want to see the woman I love and the people she loves living well.”

I turned and ran toward the place Daniel had pointed to.

Ethan was indeed there.

I sprinted into his arms and wrapped my hands around his neck.

He smelled good—the scent I’d loved for five years.

“Ethan, you don’t have to wait. I like you. I’ve always liked you. I want to be with you now!”

I quickly untied a jeweled belt and looped it around his neck, then stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

Ethan held me tightly. He kissed me back softly—his lashes trembling, two tears shining at the corners of his eyes.

(Afterwards) I slipped out of Riverside.

Technically, I ran away with Ethan.

Before we left, I placed the crown and the military token beside the small cot where Quinn had been knocked out by Ethan. Sorry, Quinn. Even if you don’t like ruling, I truly had to do what was right for the moment.

Riverside has recovered nicely; I haven’t wholly betrayed Father Roland’s wishes.

Ethan and I were going to see wider horizons—and produce a whole brood of children.

Daniel knew what we planned and gave us a tiny tent he said was essential for the outdoors—very warm and rainproof.

So there we were, lying in the desert, poking our heads out to watch the stars.

After many nights of star-gazing, it got a little monotonous.

I glanced at Ethan. While he was identifying constellations, I quietly slipped off his belt.

I straddled him quickly, ready to finish what had been simmering between us. He’d been lighting my temper every day—time to douse that fire properly.

Centrallanders are so fussy about ceremony. Annoying.

Just as I was about to kiss him, Ethan started to act shy.

He said we should wait a few more days.

Ha—so predictable. I thought he’d learned a trick from Daniel to win me over. I wanted the trick; but I wanted the man—now.

I began peeling off his clothes. “Wait for what? Are you incapable?”

Ethan sat stunned for a moment, then flipped me over and pinned me down, his breath warm at my ear. “Then don’t wait. Let’s try now—see if I can do it.”

When I was breathing hard and ready, he paused and hoarsely asked, leaning down: “Sasha—will you marry me?”

“Oh—yes, yes, yes! At this moment? Why now?” I exclaimed.

Ethan smiled—the same brilliant smile as the stars outside. But those stars belong to everyone; he belongs only to me.

I love him.

[Extra] I am Daniel Grant, a historical investigator.

In my time, scientists have found a way to travel through time. My job is to travel back and verify historical facts, compiling objective chronicles with no concealment. To prevent travelers from changing history—or causing a butterfly effect—this technology isn’t public. Only personnel authorized by the Time Administration and specific maintenance staff may use it.

There’s an unexplained flaw: those who must perform time travel often die young. Some don’t live three years from the day they enter the time channel. Because of that, those contracted to this confidential program receive a lavish final-compensation opportunity near the end of their lives. You can request any wish; the Time Administration will review and decide.

Most colleagues ask to leave wealth or resources to family. I asked to visit the Tang era outside my duties.

I expected a straight-up rejection. Instead the bureau approved it—and even allowed me to bring some modern gear. They warned: if I broke the rules, maintenance would erase me.

The life-monitoring chip glowing faintly on my wrist signaled I had less than a month left. But the passage would dilate time for me; the ten-day limit they approved would be like ten years. Plenty.

Arriving in the Tang era, by chance I became the sworn son of a foster mother—she was the sister of the great Lady of Duke Shen, a founding hero. That led me to meet Duke Shen’s favored eldest son, Ethan.

Things didn’t go as neatly as in my diary—full of drama—but they achieved the result I wanted. Ethan was as I’d imagined: handsome and steady, no hint of affectation despite high birth. With such an ancestor, I was satisfied.

Soon, because of shared temperaments and trials, Ethan and I sealed a blood-brother pact.

When he left for Westford and volunteered to guard the Western regions, his marriage had just suffered a setback. The old noble House Lucas sneered at the idea of marrying their daughter to a ruggedly born military heir; they preferred the proud, refined young son of the Cui family. That failed courtship wounded Ethan’s pride.

Curiosity and duty pulled me to see the real Frontier kingdoms, so I went with him. Later I realized it was the best decision of my life—because I met Lana, my Lily.

Though I’d been struck by Lily at first sight, our love grew slowly. At the time she followed Princess Anasha and waited outside the general’s house, hoping to see Ethan. The little princess was perhaps sixteen or seventeen, wearing exotic red, a string of bright blue gems on her brow, thin braids, sitting on the steps outside the house. Her huge eyes watched the doorway expectantly; she hummed a tune now and then.

I couldn’t understand the words—but I had an ancient dialect translator.

It was a love song.

I caught Ethan sneaking back in through the service door and, feeling gleeful, stopped him to recite the bold ballad from Riverside—just to watch him flush.

He shot me a glance and walked off, cold as ever.

Good ancestors in all other ways, but seriously lacking in personality. Boring.

The young princess often rode stars-and-moon distances from Riverside to the Western Command—camel, then horse—traversing desert and gravel for half a month. She’d arrive breathless at the gates, laden with exotic gifts for Ethan, sometimes even playing her reed flute outside the manor for hours.

Hearing that long, fervent foreign music, I always thought any man with a heartbeat would be moved. Ethan, though, never cracked. He avoided her, refused every gift.

If I hadn’t known he once wanted to marry Lady Lucas, I’d have started wondering if he was, I don’t know, a different breed of man—and whether I should keep a safe distance.

The princess didn’t give up. For three stubborn years she chased him.

And Lily—sweet, stubborn Lily—was exactly like her princess. When she decided she liked someone, she didn’t mince words.

By then I could hardly contain myself. I was debating whether to tell her how I felt when, to my surprise, Lily beat me to it in front of the whole guard—eyes burning, hopeful, as if saying, “You must say yes.”

And she won.

We had a good life together, but Lily wouldn’t stay put. She insisted on following her princess through thick and thin, shuttling between the two places.

So I endured a long-distance ache: thinking of those two girls trudging miles made my chest hurt. All I could do was glare at Ethan’s deadpan face.

If not for brotherly loyalty, I would have walloped him, handed him over to the princess, and carried Lily away in celebration.

Brothers are like clothes; wives are your ribs.

Before I utterly lost my mind and chose love over friendship, Lily finally agreed to come back with me.

I was rubbing my hands, ready to propose. This time I would make her stay.

Lily relented because the princess had resolved to return to Riverside as part of a diplomatic marriage. Ethan couldn’t dodge it—he was constantly provoked by her, flaring up and helpless at once.

Still, I felt Ethan’s stubborn iceberg slowly melting.

I didn’t tell Lily that—because I knew how this kind of story usually ended badly.

After we reached Westford, Lily accepted my proposal, and at the same time the princess and Ethan had a final, bitter split.

Lily and I went to see them off. Her eyes were swollen, bloodshot from crying, but she smiled and said it was all in the past—no use regretting.

She leaned into me and wiped her face. “The princess will return to Riverside and marry the minister they choose,” she said. “I hope Princess Anasha will be happy.”

I patted her back, unconvincing. When the princess left, I looked for Ethan at the training yard and found him off his game—breath ragged, swordplay scattered, an impossible confusion and bitterness staining his face.

“Ethan, are you sure? Once she leaves, you and Anasha may never meet again.”

“Daniel.”

He sheathed his sword and turned away so I couldn’t read him. “You worry too much.”

I kept my silence, wishing I was the anxious one.

Within a year the reports came: Riverside in upheaval; the king imprisoned; their Fourth Princess forced into a political marriage with the Turan raiders—an enemy clan. The Riverside fifth prince and our fourth princess escaped the palace chaos and begged Westford for aid.

The emperor consented to war. Ethan was appointed deputy commander. The marriage arrangements between the Grants and the Lucases were put on hold.

When I next saw Ethan, he was wiping his sword, eyes rimmed red, hands trembling. He didn’t speak.

“Ethan, I’m going with you.”

After a long moment he shook his head. “No. This is a real battlefield—too dangerous.”

“I’ll stay with the supply camp. I won’t be trouble.”

I tried to make light of it. “It’s not for you—I’m going because Lily asked me to. She worries about Anasha.”

His sword-hand stiffened.

Ever since the princess left, we’d tacitly stopped mentioning her. I was worried for him. He, I think, was terrified of not being able to hold himself together.

Another year passed before Westford launched the full assault on the Turan. The campaign was a decisive victory.

On the day our army stormed the Turan king’s tent and raised the flag, the western threat was finally gone. The camp erupted in celebration—everywhere but where Ethan should have been.

I searched and found him finally in the tent of the fallen Turan lord—half-kneeling, his long sword plunged into the ground. He looked at me with hollow eyes; tears pooled in the corners. Blood ran from his hand. His lips moved but no sound came.

I walked past him heavy-footed, not reaching out. Some burdens you have to carry alone. If you survive it, light returns; if you can’t, it becomes a lifetime knot that never loosens.

“Ethan.”

I remembered why I’d come. I couldn’t help but say it. “The Hetian jade rabbit the princess gave you—I hid it in that pillow you never use.”

His hand around the sword tightened, the blade biting into the earth as if punishing his resolve.

After we returned to Westford, I told Lily a story: in it, the princess won free and true love, a forever kind of freedom.

Lily’s eyes sparkled; in her hands she clutched the gem bead I’d begged the new Riverside king to give—an old keepsake of the princess. Her face was streaked with happy-sad tears. “I knew Anasha was so good. Ethan will regret it. At least, it turned out okay. But…where did the princess go? Will she come to see me?”

I hugged her tightly. “Of course she will. But she and Ethan were such wanderers—maybe it’ll take some time.”

Still, whenever I imagined Ethan’s lone figure standing at the desert edge, by wind-bitten watchtowers, I pulled Lily closer. “I don’t have long. I can’t give you children. Lily, are you really not going to regret this?”

She puffed her cheeks and pouted, annoyed. “Stop saying that!”

“I told the princess we’d have children soon. She was happy.”

I swallowed a stab of jealousy and said softly, “When I’m gone in a few years, you can remarry a good man and have children—so the princess won’t say I lied.”

Lily snorted, turned her face back to the starry window, probably thinking of her princess.

She would never know the truth. The Fourth Princess of Riverside chose a brutal, irrevocable way to declare her decision to her country.

On the eve of battle she killed the Turan lord, then her husband cut her throat—revenge disguised as cruelty. She fell, blood pouring, her white robes stained red.

Ethan never even saw her body. Riverside soldiers, brimming with sorrow, had sent her home before he could reach her.

That farewell at Westford was final.

Lily would never learn the truth because another protagonist of this story would stay in the Frontier for the rest of his life—buried there.

After I put Lily to bed, I opened my journal and, after writing the official record of Westford’s victory, my pen froze.

I remembered a middle-school report about an excavation in the northwest. A Tang-era general’s tomb had been found—sparse, empty except for a skeleton, one set of armor, a long sword, and a half-palm-sized Hetian jade rabbit inlaid with red gem beside the bones.

I stared at the screen as the narrator read the tomb’s story and shouted at my parents, “Come look—this is our ancestor! I saw his name in our genealogy!”

“Ethan Grant.”

The name stood out in the family register’s second generation, brilliant and lonely—no wife, no descendants.

At fourteen I wondered why he’d gone northwest. Why a white jade rabbit in a general’s tomb?

Those early questions led me into the career I now loved.

I returned to seek one answer.

Deep into the night, I rubbed my temples, lay down, and held my wife. I thought: my life has no regrets. Fate has been kind to me.

I closed my journal and slept, dreaming a little with the jade rabbit tucked in memory.

Premium chapters locked

Unlock the rest of the story

200 Book Coins

The next scene of I Chased Him Until He Came Back begins with: The girl in green laughed lightly and traded looks of contempt with her companions. "Riverside, the Frontier—mere petty little states, nothing but barbarians. Foreign princesses… Continue with the remaining 577 story sections.

Get Book Coins to Unlock

Trending

Trending keyword

Trending

Trending keyword