The Husband Who Loved a Ghost

The Husband Who Loved a Ghost cover

The Husband Who Loved a Ghost

Divorce Numbness

On our anniversary, my husband got drunk and held me while slurring, "Claire, I dream about marrying you back… "

Any woman would be moved to tears hearing that.

But I’m not Claire. Claire was his dead ex-girlfriend.

I don’t even know how things went this far after I hauled a very drunk Ethan home from the bar.

He kept his head down, one hand cradling my cheek, the other threading through my hair, fingers digging in as he kissed me hard.

I suppose years of gripping a scalpel left the pads of his fingers with a faint callus.

His fingers stroking my cheek made me feel a little itchy.

But his lips, unlike his cold personality, were warm and smelled strongly of alcohol.

The smell made my head swim; I felt a little drunk too. I tilted my chin up and slowly began to respond.

We’d been married three years. Ethan and I lived under the same roof but led lives that never intersected.

He was so busy with work—several surgeries some days—that often when he came home I was already asleep.

This felt like our first kiss.

The air between us grew heavy. He buried his face in the hollow of my neck; his hand had somehow made its way to my back and was undoing my button.

My face flushed, but I didn’t stop him.

Suddenly something warm and wet dripped onto my neck.

"Claire, I dream of bringing you home to be my wife…" His voice was low—stripped of its usual coolness—full of tenderness and longing.

My body froze.

What woman wouldn’t cry hearing that?

But I’m not Claire. Claire was his dead ex-girlfriend.

I pushed Ethan away so hard my fingers clawed at my clothes, raking them back into place.

Maybe my reaction was too violent. The man in front of me slowly sat up, rubbed his brow like he was trying to shake off the drunkenness.

Even now he gave off a frosty, indifferent aura.

Through the haze of his breath and the dim light our eyes met.

His pupils were black and still, showing nothing.

I didn’t know whether Ethan hated me or not.

Years ago, Claire had thrown herself into the water to save my brother and never opened her eyes again.

And in a few days they’d have their engagement ceremony.

Sometimes I wondered—if I hadn’t brought my brother that day, none of this would have happened.

"Three years…" I tried to keep my composure, but my voice trembled, "You still think about her…"

He only stared at me, then tugged his mouth into a half-smile. "Haven’t you been thinking about him too?"

For a moment I couldn’t remember the line I’d rehearsed in my head.

He meant Daniel.

Daniel was Claire’s younger brother—my ex.

After the accident Daniel couldn’t stay with me. Without a word he boarded a plane to America.

Those weeks after the breakup were the darkest of my life.

I took a week off and locked myself in my apartment.

I couldn’t sleep. The moment my head hit the pillow nightmares started.

In the dreams, wet Claire lay on the ground, pale and lifeless.

Then the scene would flip to the ER where a doctor, expressionless, told me, "Your brother was resuscitated, but prolonged brain hypoxia has caused brain death. The chance of recovery is almost zero."

I woke in the black night, clutching my phone and staring at the number I knew by heart but couldn’t bring myself to dial.

Scenes from my past with Daniel replayed over and over—conflicting, aching, unresolved. No one seemed at fault.

Until the day Ethan knocked on my door.

When he stepped in he paused at the mess on the floor, didn’t say anything, and sat on the couch to smoke.

Cigarette after cigarette, like there was no end.

I leaned against the wall and watched him in silence.

He wore a white shirt; the smoke softened his handsome features, making him look even more distant.

I couldn’t name what I felt.

Ethan and I weren’t close. If not for Claire, our paths wouldn’t have crossed.

So why was he here?

"Let’s get married." I opened my mouth to say something and heard the words.

I froze, convinced I must have misheard.

But Ethan repeated it, earnest: "Maya, marry me."

The lights were bright, but I still couldn’t quite read his expression. His eyes were calm as ever. What I could see clearly was my reflection in them.

It was ridiculous. I should have refused.

Before I could react, Ethan stood and strode toward me.

My heart raced with his steps. I straightened, pretending calm.

He noticed.

He bent down, peeled back the uneven throw blanket, and his gaze fell on the pile of sleeping pills scattered on the floor.

Time stilled.

He was silent for a beat, then picked one up.

His long fingers pinched the white pill; the joints of his fingers whitened under the light.

He looked up at me and tugged the corner of his mouth into a smile.

Ethan rarely showed emotion. I’d never seen that smile before—bitter, dark, complicated in a way I couldn’t name.

"You’re not afraid of death, but you’re afraid to marry me?" he said.

I had nothing left to refuse with.

When our parents died, my brother was four and I had just started college.

I single-handedly kept our little life afloat. Daniel had been the only light in my gray existence.

But life seems to enjoy cruel jokes. Just when I reached for happiness, Claire died saving my brother, Daniel left without a word, my brother became a vegetable… the endless guilt and suffering nearly crushed me.

I wanted to escape.

Then Ethan showed up.

I looked at him and felt a calm I hadn’t known in years. My life had no hope left; if he wanted marriage, fine. I figured I could help him, and maybe he’d help me forget Daniel.

So we got married.

Later I learned Ethan rushed into marriage simply to satisfy family pressure.

But why me?

I once asked, pretending indifference. He didn’t look up from his book. "Because you won’t fall in love with me."

That offhand line lodged like a stone in my throat. It was the moment I realized how deep his love for Claire ran.

Our marriage rested on a life taken. I felt guilty and alien in it; I couldn’t love him. He’d thought he could walk away unscathed.

He miscalculated.

"Daniel already has a girlfriend," Ethan’s voice pulled me back.

I blinked. "What?"

"A few days ago I ran into him. He’s back in the country, and there’s a woman with him." He paused, studying my face as if searching for something, speaking slowly. "I saw them picking out wedding rings."

My eyes widened. Daniel… getting married?

"Does that make you sad?" Ethan’s tone was odd, but I didn’t have the heart to parse it. I shook my head. "No."

I knew the relationship between Daniel and me was over.

Then Ethan suddenly cupped my face; his cool fingertips dragged across my cheek. His voice was cold, an oddly resentful question. "If you’re not sad, then why are you crying?"

Crying? I reached up and touched my face, blinking. It was damp.

"If you want to get him back, I can tell Daniel we’re only faking this marriage," he said. "Just mutual convenience."

I looked up at him, tears clouding my vision so I could barely make out his indifferent face, even this close.

Mutual convenience. He needed a woman who wouldn’t entangle him emotionally to appease family demands; he chose me. I was desperate to forget Daniel; anyone would do. So I agreed. That was his assumption.

A suppressed wave of emotion rose in me—sour, stinging. I hated myself for letting it happen, for drifting toward something I knew was impossible. I wanted to scream, to tell him, "I’m crying because of you!" But the words stuck like a brick. Say them and everything we’d arranged would shatter beyond repair.

Perhaps tired of my silence, Ethan assumed consent. His face cooled completely.

"Consider tonight never happened." He dropped the sentence and walked out.

I watched his back disappear. He walked steady, not the staggering drunk he’d been earlier.

Realization tightened my chest. Was he pretending to be drunk?

After that night, what little fragile connection we had hit rock bottom.

He stopped coming home and didn’t bother to explain.

I’d always known this marriage was nominal. Ethan still respected the façade—he wore the ring, everyone recognized me as Mrs. Walker. Even when work ran late he’d come home.

I remembered falling asleep on the couch once and waking to a gray throw over me, the blanket smelling faintly of something clean and pleasant.

I glanced up and saw Ethan in the kitchen calmly making a late-night meal. Steam curled around his handsome, distant features until they softened.

He noticed my gaze and only glanced over once, unbothered.

When he emerged he carried two sets of bowls and chopsticks.

After we ate, I automatically started clearing the dishes. As I reached for a plate he stood and took it from my hands. "You shouldn’t touch cold water today. I’ll do it," he said.

I opened my mouth to ask, "How did you know?" but the words stuck. I only watched him finish the chores and return to the kitchen.

Maybe it was from that night onward that things between us began to change, little by little.

But these past few days I curled up on the couch, rewinding the same movie over and over, waiting—always waiting—and that familiar figure never came.

I finally couldn’t stand it and called Luke Carter, who works in the same department as Ethan and was our groomsman.

I beat around the bush, but Luke got the point.

"Ethan’s had a ton of surgeries scheduled the last few days, he’s basically been living at St. Mary’s. Claire, didn’t he tell you?" he said.

My fingers tightened around the phone. I didn’t answer.

There was a brief, awkward "uh" from Luke, then he tried to lighten the mood. "Claire, don’t overthink it. Maybe he’s planning a surprise for you!"

My breath hitched. "A surprise?"

"Yeah. I went by his office yesterday and saw him holding a little jewelry box. There was a necklace inside, looks like he was going to give it to you. The pendant’s a silver six-pointed star—it’s gorgeous…"

After I hung up I sat there for a long time, a strange, indefinable feeling spreading through me, riding the hot current of my blood into every corner of my body.

Was Luke telling the truth?

In a daze, the memory of that night—him pretending to be drunk and calling out my name to see how I’d react—flashed into my mind.

And that kiss, infused with the faint scent of alcohol, soft and lingering… I ran through a thousand guesses. Then the least likely possibility cracked open the soil of my thoughts—could he, in some small way, like me?

That idea tore little fissures through my heart, and through each crack a dozen hopeful lights danced in.

I didn’t dare confirm it. But I also didn’t want to… deny it.

On Friday, after I wrapped up at the studio, I hailed a cab to go home.

Belted in, my phone buzzed. A text from an unknown number: "Maya, I’m back. Want to meet?"

I stared at the message a long time, then blacked the screen.

The ride was steady. I stared out the window, a little lost.

Night air had a bite, neon lights slashed across the glass. In that flicker of light and shadow, I could almost see Ethan’s cool, pale face.

Only then did I realize—it’d been a week; maybe I missed him.

A sudden impulse rose inside me. I wanted to be honest with him, tell him everything.

It was so strong I told the driver to turn around and head to St. Mary’s.

We arrived quickly.

At the entrance I asked at the desk on the right which floor Ethan’s office was on, then went for the stairs.

With every step my heart beat faster.

I inhaled and, hands shaking, hit the elevator button.

The doors were about to close when a familiar, gentle voice called, "Excuse me, wait."

A tall, upright figure stepped in.

Seeing Daniel Bennett made me freeze for a moment.

The elevator light was bright, making his suit gleam. Shadows traced the plane of his face—clean, sharp features. Compared to three years ago he looked more mature, steadier.

He seemed surprised too. He parted his lips to speak, and a phone rang in the quiet elevator.

He pulled his phone out, frowned briefly, then answered in a soft voice, "I’m already in the elevator. Don’t be scared, I’m coming right over."

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